Some People Believe That Studying At University Or College Is The Best Route To A

In the contemporary era, there is an on-going debate about (See previous reply)

Here is a better opening sentence. It does not refer to any public debate or controversy, but a real life decision that high school leavers and their parents face.

After graduating from high school, young people, together with their parents, have to decide whether to apply for university or college or immediately engage in the workforce, and one factor in this decision is considering which path will lead to a long-term success in a career. Personally, I believe that it is better to go to college or university.

Many individuals at their early stages of life want to start work straight after school. Having a job enables them to be independent since they are able to afford their cost of living. They will have one or two years of hands-on industry experience which is usually an asset when applying for their next, better-paying job. Although young people can get certain jobs without a university formal degree, they will find it a struggle to advance professionally. Employers tend to choose people with academic qualifications for important positions, so that those with fewer qualifications may find it challenging to rise the ranks.

(You need to clearly separate the paragraphs.)
On the other hand, it is my belief that (Your opinion is in the introduction. Do not write your opinion in a body paragraph. The body paragraphs are for the arguments supporting your stated opinion.) there is very strong evidence that continuing study is more beneficial for the high school graduate. the youth. To commence with, academic qualifications are required in so many fields. For example, it is impossible to be a doctor or accountant without a relevant degree. As a result, with qualifications, the young University graduates in many fields can gain higher salaries right from the outset and have better career job opportunities. Moreover, some academic programs require that students do an internship or a work placement in order to graduate. Due to this, not only will do graduates will have the required academic knowledge skills, but they also have experience in a familiarize themselves with the real working environment.

As outlined above, after analyzing both views, (Do not mention your body paragraphs. Just summarize the arguments.) In conclusion, it seems to me that students who choose higher education are more likely to be successful in their career paths since they have the valuable knowledge that is sought after by the top employers..