Describe It: Sadness
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Definition
Sadness: a state of feeling grief or unhappiness
A person feeling sadness:
- Might express emotion through crying.
- Might spend time alone.
- Can maintain fairly regular eating and sleeping patterns.
- Can participate in regular activities, such as work or school.
- Starts feeling better in a few days or weeks.
*source: mentalhealthfirstaid.org – https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/2019/10/the-difference-between-feeling-sad-and-having-depression/
In defining sadness it is important to differentiate it from depression. Though people may say they are depressed as an expression to quantify their sadness or grief, sadness is a mood whereas depression is a mood disorder that results in increased chance of mortality (death).
Depression: persistent feelings of sadness, helplessness, grief, etc. (see below) that impacts the individual’s ability to function normally for more than two weeks. Depression is associated with high mortality (death) rates, many of which are a result of suicide. Clinical depression is a more severe form of depression and is also known as Major Depressive Disorder.
A person who is suffering depression may experience these and/or other symptoms:
- Might experience unusual feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, anger, hopelessness, helplessness and irritability that last two weeks or more.
- Might move more slowly or sometimes becomes agitated and unable to settle.
- Might have sleeping difficulties or sometimes sleep too much.
- Might lose interest in activities that used to be enjoyable.
- Might have thoughts about self-harm or suicide.
*source: mentalhealthfirstaid.org – https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/2019/10/the-difference-between-feeling-sad-and-having-depression/
Synonym Strength
These are just some of the words that can be used to describe sadness. For more, go to the thesaurus.com page for sad.
Disorders
See the post on Depression (coming soon).
Sadness, Anger, and Irritability
Some people react with anger when they are sad as a type of protection mechanism. Sadness can also increase irritability, increasing a person’s temper and likelihood that they will snap at people, even those trying to comfort them.
The Science Behind Tears (Sadness)
Humans cry when they are sad, frustrated, angry, stressed, anxious, happy, and because they’re in pain. Here we’ll speak able crying in relation to sadness. It is a uniquely human function.
Crying is thought to be a deeply ingrained social signal that tells others we need help or comfort. It is also a form of self-soothing.
It can also be an extremely helpful way of releasing stress, which can rapidly drain energy and allow us to sleep. During sleep, our brains process our experiences, making it easier to heal. When people cry, our bodies release endorphins (which helps to relieve stress and pain) and oxytocin (which helps relieve pain and increase bonding).
The vulnerability expressed during crying can also increase social bonding.
Women often cry more than men, and while there is some suggestion that testosterone may inhibit crying, much greater evidence shows that the difference between men and women in this regard is impacted by culture, religion, and social pressures. In fact, in some cultures crying is frowned upon regardless of gender and thus there are lower incidents of crying.
Expressions
Eyes
RELATED WORDS
Gazed, Averted, Stared
He looked down, unable to maintain eye contact lest she see.
Her eyes were large and rimmed with tears.
They blinked several times, hoping to clear the redness before someone saw them.
She squeezed her eyes, trying to force the tears from their edges so she could be done with them.
His eyes were tired and sore.
Her eyes were barely open, but he could see how they glistened with unshed tears.
It was the way her eyes dropped that gave away the sadness she otherwise masterfully hid.
While they were watching the performance, she could see the glassiness of their eyes.
He closed his eyes, going silent as he tried to drag emotion back under where he didn’t need to feel it.
Eyes red and glassy from crying.
Their blue eyes shimmered, their colour intensified by the bloodshot whites.
Their eyes were hollow and sunken.
She had cried so much and for so long, her tears now stung.
The skin around his eyes was raw.
Deep shadows had formed under her eyes even though she’d slept for more than nine hours.
Her eyes hadn’t lifted from the cold grey tiles for several minutes.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t maintain eye contact.
They couldn’t open their eyes, their lids immensely heavy.
His sadness lingered in his hazel eyes.
Their eyes rimmed with tears.
Mouth
His lips trembled as he thought of his wife’s passing.
Her mouth was open, loosely hanging in an empty expression of despair.
The corner of his lips pulled down, shaking as he tried to stop the overwhelming emotion.
Her lips pulled into a half-formed, heartless smile.
His slight smile gave way that he was trying to overcome.
Her lips grew thin as emotion overtook her.
(child/infant) their bottom lip protruded.
Jaw / Neck
Her neck bowed until her head could drop no lower.
Throat clenched
Knot (lump) formed in the throat
Her jaw grew tense with strain.
His jaw trembled.
Hands / Arms
She clutched the blanket tightly.
He pulled the blanket up over his head, hiding from the world even though he was alone.
At times like this, they relied on that old, ragged teddy bear for the comfort they couldn’t ask others for.
He clutched his arms around his chest.
She tightened her folded arms until she was practically holding herself.
His arms hung loosely at his sides, slack and heavy.
She clutched the back of her head, rocking on her feet.
He wrapped his arms over his head, burrowing his face between them.
Their hand drifted slowly over their mouth, hiding the growing frown.
Her hands cupped over her nose and mouth, amplifying her brief sob.
He hid his face in both hands, shoulders shaking.
She rested quietly with her face in her hands.
She rubbed the back of her crossed arms gently.
They scrubbed their face with one hand.
He turned the pen over and over, listlessly and without seeming to see it.
Although one couldn’t tell by looking at her face, her hands were trembling.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his wrist
She rubbed the bottom of her nose with a single finger
They wiped the tears from their cheeks, dragging their fingers along their bottom lashes.
Body Language / Behaviour
He moved slowly, listlessly, barely aware of his own movements.
She was concerned for her brother, who had been staring absently at the wall since they’d heard the news.
There was no purpose to her actions, she moved around, finding things to do as though not even present in her own mind.
He shrugged one shoulder, seeming not to have the energy for both.
They sighed heavily. (use this sparingly)
Her answers came in simple sentences, bereft of emotion.
Over the last few days, she’d grown distant and quiet.
She rocked gently back and forth, not even aware she was doing it
His brows pulled up, knitting in the middle.
Walking
RELATED WORDS
Dragged, shuffled, amble
She couldn’t bring herself to catch up to the others, her sorrow was barely letting her walk as is.
It was too much. They ran from the house, needing to escape.
His feet dragged with every step, catching, almost making him stumble every few steps.
General
His nose was red and running.
No matter how many times she blew her nose, it remained full, stifling her sobs.
Weakness took him, and his knees collapsed.
She lowered herself until she was sitting on her haunches, trying to make herself as small as possible.
He fell back against the wall, then slid down to the stone floor.
She fell to hands and knees, sobbing uncontrollably.
They sat with their face pressed into their upturned knees.
He lay in bed, legs tucked up, head resting on his arm, barely moving.
They leaned against the window, staring at the horizon without seeing it.
Her face went slack before falling.
Their shoulders drooped
At first it was only his shoulders that fell, then he folded in on himself, wrapping his arms around his waist.
He fell onto the bed, uncomfortable but unwilling to move.
Her mother had noticed how she hadn’t turned on a light in days and tended to sit in her room in the dark.
She turned away from him, leaning on the far arm of the couch while simultaneously asking him to stay.
The closer she got, the further he turned away from her
They withdrew to the corner of the room, present but separate.
Hot tears trickled down their face.
He sniffled.
Resignation etched soft lines in his face.
Her face crumpled.
It was hard to see past the tears clouding her eyes.
He moved through the days, a ghost of himself.
She sat slouched, unable to pull herself upright.
Their face felt bruised from the tears.
She cried in the shower to hide her tears even from herself.
Internal Reactions
Her chest felt hollow.
It felt like a fist was slowly closing over their heart.
He felt empty and alone.
Nausea churned her stomach.
The deepness of their frown dimpled their chin.
She sobbed so hard she began choking.
She gasped between cries, barely able to catch the breath needed for the next.
For days he’d fought back the emotion, but he couldn’t do it any longer.
Impact on Mind / Body
Loss of appetite
Tiredness
Sleepiness even after sleeping
Needing to sleep after crying.
Although she wanted to cry, every time it started, it was like a door slammed shut, condemning her to misery rather than letting her burn out on it.
The ache in his chest would not relent. It burned without end as though to remind him of his loss.
Inability to focus.
Numbness.
Loss of appetite
Long-term: weight loss or gain
Unwillingness to be touched
Wanting to be near others quietly
Being selective of who they are around
Voice
RELATED WORDS
Whimpered, stammered, cried, sobbed, sniffled, mumbled, wailed, stammered, groaned, sniveled,
Their voice had dropped an octave and was gritty.
She could barely hear the child speak, their words whispered in their despair.
There was a tonelessness to his father’s voice that was unusual.
She gasped between sobs, trying to fit words in when she could.
He blubbered the story, almost not making sense.
Her scream of rage devolved into a cry.
Their voice was dull and distant.
The more he talked, the more his voice cracked.
She tried to sing along, but her throat kept closing.
She sat, face hidden behind her hair.
Their voice descended into an inconsolable whimper.
She released a plaintiff cry.
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SHONNA WHITE
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- www.lostinfernal.com
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