American Horror Story: Apocalypse Premiere Review – “The End” – IGN

Anyhow, this is all a long way of saying Apocalypse looked amazing on paper. Its execution, at least in this first episode (appropriately titled “The End), is campy and muddled. Over the years, Horror Story slowly transformed from earnest slasher scares and nightmare haunts into schlocky pop-culture nods and cartoonishly shallow characters. Part of that is Coven’s fault, since Emma Roberts’ Madison was filled to the brim with overwritten witticisms and insta-quotable rhetoric, yet Horror Story seemed to find its ultimate sweet spot when it ignored both. “The End” lacks bite because it’s too concerned with snark. It lacks fright because it’s too focused on comically spotlighting a fallout bunker filled with “the worst” people.

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To kick off “The End,” nuclear missiles launched, effectively ending the world, and in a Miracle Mile situation (1988, dir Steve De Jarnatt) four people (who weren’t Billy Eichner) flew out of LA in a private jet – Evan Peters’ Mr. Gallant and his grandmother (played by Joan Collins) along with Leslie Grossman’s Coco (who’s a lot like Grossman’s Meadow from Cult) and her assistant Mallory (Billie Lourd). Separately, Ashley Santos and The Path’s Kyle Allen, as Emily and Timothy, were scooped up by mysterious operatives and rescued from nuclear fire because of their DNA.

Two weeks later and everything’s a cross between the Fyre Festival and a sassier, foggier Into the Badlands. The aforementioned are all in a bunker called Outpost Three and lorded over by Kathy Bates’ Miriam and Sarah Paulson’s (in one of her three Apocalypse roles) Wilhelmina Venable. We come to learn over the course of the hour (and 18 months of everyone’s tedious life) that Miriam and Wilhelmina have gone a bit rogue. With other Outposts being invaded by God knows what on the outside, these two have decided to have some fun while their bosses, The Cooperative, are distracted. Meaning, they toy and torment the “chosen” who live in the Outpost by making up a hierarchy and enforcing crazy rules.

Basically, we’re back to some of the least interesting aspects of Cult, and with no one sympathetic enough to care about (except maybe Timothy and Emily, though they’re still quite boring) we’re just watching a bunch of tepid jolts and some mild menace. One person gets killed during this initial year and a half and it’s not even anyone we know all that well. It’s all so purposefully tedious that everyone, by the end, wants to revolt and leave the bunker, even though it’d mean death on the outside. Makes you wonder how we’re supposed to feel as viewers.

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Assumedly, deeper and more committed crossovers are coming in upcoming episodes, because this premiere outing has very little to do with blending in other seasons. Cody Fern, who was superb in The Assassination of Gianni Versace and at the heart of one of its best episodes, shows up at the end as Michael Langdon. And if that name sounds familiar to you, it’s because he’s Vivien Harmon’s baby – the twin who survived and was adopted by neighbor Constance Langdon; the antichrist offspring of a human and a spirit, who murdered his nanny when he was just a young child.

After unnerving us for most of the hour, “The End” opens itself up a little bit toward the finish, bringing in Satan’s spawn himself as the head, or one of the heads, of the Collective. And much like Wes Bentley’s Edward Mordrake, back in Freak Show, he’s looking to visit upon all the souls of Outpost Three and judge them. Is this enough to redeem the entire episode? Not entirely, though it does set up next week’s episode nicely.

As someone who’s reviewed each episode of American Horror Story since the very start, the idea of Apocalypse instantly intrigued me. An actual payoff to the demon spawn ending of Murder House and the End Times prophesy relayed by Billie Dean Howard? Mixed with the (surviving?) witches from Coven? Oh, and old characters from those seasons returning? Meaning some stars will be playing multiple roles?Anyhow, this is all a long way of saying Apocalypse looked amazing on paper. Its execution, at least in this first episode (appropriately titled “The End), is campy and muddled. Over the years, Horror Story slowly transformed from earnest slasher scares and nightmare haunts into schlocky pop-culture nods and cartoonishly shallow characters. Part of that is Coven’s fault, since Emma Roberts’ Madison was filled to the brim with overwritten witticisms and insta-quotable rhetoric, yet Horror Story seemed to find its ultimate sweet spot when it ignored both. “The End” lacks bite because it’s too concerned with snark. It lacks fright because it’s too focused on comically spotlighting a fallout bunker filled with “the worst” people.To kick off “The End,” nuclear missiles launched, effectively ending the world, and in a Miracle Mile situation (1988, dir Steve De Jarnatt) four people (who weren’t Billy Eichner) flew out of LA in a private jet – Evan Peters’ Mr. Gallant and his grandmother (played by Joan Collins) along with Leslie Grossman’s Coco (who’s a lot like Grossman’s Meadow from Cult) and her assistant Mallory (Billie Lourd). Separately, Ashley Santos and The Path’s Kyle Allen, as Emily and Timothy, were scooped up by mysterious operatives and rescued from nuclear fire because of their DNA.Two weeks later and everything’s a cross between the Fyre Festival and a sassier, foggier Into the Badlands. The aforementioned are all in a bunker called Outpost Three and lorded over by Kathy Bates’ Miriam and Sarah Paulson’s (in one of her three Apocalypse roles) Wilhelmina Venable. We come to learn over the course of the hour (and 18 months of everyone’s tedious life) that Miriam and Wilhelmina have gone a bit rogue. With other Outposts being invaded by God knows what on the outside, these two have decided to have some fun while their bosses, The Cooperative, are distracted. Meaning, they toy and torment the “chosen” who live in the Outpost by making up a hierarchy and enforcing crazy rules.Basically, we’re back to some of the least interesting aspects of Cult, and with no one sympathetic enough to care about (except maybe Timothy and Emily, though they’re still quite boring) we’re just watching a bunch of tepid jolts and some mild menace. One person gets killed during this initial year and a half and it’s not even anyone we know all that well. It’s all so purposefully tedious that everyone, by the end, wants to revolt and leave the bunker, even though it’d mean death on the outside. Makes you wonder how we’re supposed to feel as viewers.Assumedly, deeper and more committed crossovers are coming in upcoming episodes, because this premiere outing has very little to do with blending in other seasons. Cody Fern, who was superb in The Assassination of Gianni Versace and at the heart of one of its best episodes, shows up at the end as Michael Langdon. And if that name sounds familiar to you, it’s because he’s Vivien Harmon’s baby – the twin who survived and was adopted by neighbor Constance Langdon; the antichrist offspring of a human and a spirit, who murdered his nanny when he was just a young child.After unnerving us for most of the hour, “The End” opens itself up a little bit toward the finish, bringing in Satan’s spawn himself as the head, or one of the heads, of the Collective. And much like Wes Bentley’s Edward Mordrake, back in Freak Show, he’s looking to visit upon all the souls of Outpost Three and judge them. Is this enough to redeem the entire episode? Not entirely, though it does set up next week’s episode nicely.