THE DIFFERENCES IN SOCIAL INTERACTION BETWEEN VIETNAMESE AND AMERICAN CULTURE
Throughout most of the world’s history, culture has played a big role in every country. It’s significant in which people nowadays can participate in lots of cultures because of their learning requirement, career, or just curiosity. It reflects mostly in the United States where different ethnics such as Asian, Latino, European, etc, come with different manners along with its own culture. Therefore, mannerism is one “must-take” lesson for foreigners before they actually get involved in a certain country’s culture. Surprisingly, Americans tend to make a big mistake about Asian culture; they assume that every country in Asia participates in the same way. It’s really not; each country adapts others’ significances, and they develop it to fit with their own standards, especially in Vietnam where is affected mostly from China. In term of social interaction, American allows you to be one of a kind, and let people observe your friendliness toward others, whereas Vietnamese encourages you to know how to respect other individuals and expect the same from them.
As we all know, difference in language and culture is the main point leading to the failure of communication. Therefore, in order to learn a new language, the foreigners not only have to be able to develop their communication through listening and speaking, but they also should improve their social interaction. According to Goffman, greetings present the means of the opening conversations appropriately, establish and maintain social relationship (Li, 2009, p.72). There are many different ways of greeting; however, it’s all presented the cultural life of each nation. In the United States, greetings are generally quite informal; for them, everyone is equal no matter which ethnic you are. They will always start a conversation with a simple “Hello, good morning, good afternoon…” to create a comfortable feeling toward others. In some situations, if an American is hanging out with his/her friend, and he/she meets someone else, it will be respectful to introduce his/her friend to the other person, even it’s only a two-minute conversation. This type of greeting identifies the presence of communicators, so that the conversation will not lead to awkwardness. Moreover, most Americans like to use eye contact and firm handshakes while talking to other communicators. It’s quite normal in greeting someone; in addition, handshakes and eye contact mostly show their interest about your presence which they want to know more.
Unlike the friendliness of American, Vietnamese greetings are really formal. The way people greet is discreet and respectful. Their ancestors once said: “Lời chào cao hơn mâm cỗ” (A saying of Hello is higher than a table of delicious dishes). The statement reveals that greetings played a huge role in the old days and even today as well. However, Vietnamese people don’t usually greet the strangers in the first place. It’s quite rude to approach a stranger without knowing about him/her first unless he/she needs their help in some circumstances. For the normal conversation, it’s okay not to introduce other friends. There is no offense for doing that because most people don’t really mind or don’t even bother of being introduced. Eventually, they will greet the other person’s friend during or after their conversation with him/her. Even though Vietnamese greeting are more formal than American way, but there is no need for handshakes. In contrast, people tend to nod their head, bow down or stand up to greet with someone; this way shows that they appreciate your presence in the conversation with them.
Along with the greetings, the body language takes an important role in social interaction as well. Sometimes, it’s hard for the communicators to express their feelings by words without making any offense toward others, and for the listeners to pick up the meaning behind the words. Therefore, body language is very relevant to all aspects of social life where communication can be seen and physically observed among people. In the United States, there is no common space for strangers or even friends. It’s encouraging to keep the distance when conversing. If an American thinks that someone is standing too close to his/her personal space, they would step back without thinking about it. Moreover, they are generally uncomfortable with touching between same sexes. In most of the times, Americans will smile to people who they know or don’t know. It’s a simple way to say “Hello” or just simply to expect a smile returned. In addition, most Americans like to look at people on the public place. It’s a normal thing in the United States where people secretly admire someone’s styles, or give a quick comment about people.
On the other hand, Vietnamese people pay a lot of attention to body language in conversations such as posture, touching, eye-contact, etc. Usually in a conversation with someone older than the communicator, he/she should not keep hands in his/her pockets or place them behind his/her back. In addition, these postures reveal that the communicator actually show his/her respect to the elder. For Vietnamese people, constant eye-contact could be considered rude and uncomfortable. Normally, when talking to anyone, most of people will cast their eyes down and look up a little while later in order to show their attentiveness and respect. For the habit of touching during a talk, some Vietnamese think that’s the best way of getting people’s undivided attention. Touching is a part of expressing the communicator’s feelings toward the listener. Moreover, some people will stand very close to the listeners while conversing with them. Usually, there is not a lot of personal space as in the United States. However, touching, patting, and personal space are all acceptable in Vietnam.
In both formal and informal conversation, most people will invite guests or friends to a restaurant for a lunch/dinner. Thus, social interaction becomes more about behavior around the dinner/lunch table. In the United States, when two people finish talking, a quick invitation will be given out as a part of the conversation. However, most of the time, people are not expected to do it unless they plan an actual date with the communicator. It’s okay to say that they shall go out to have a dinner; it basically means they are so happy and hope to make a plan to see that person. When it comes to a real dinner, people expect the guest not be late for the party. In general, Americans don’t like the lateness which shows the unprofessional manner. At the end of the dinner, it’s normal to split up the bill to equal amount, unless the host invited people to the dinner. It’s understandable for American since it’s fair, and nobody owe anything in general. In contrast, Vietnamese people don’t pay a lot of attention to dinning. There are still some rules about social interaction in dining; however, people mostly don’t take it seriously. Because the conversations are formal to Vietnamese, so they will actually ask the communicator to have a dinner and plan it out. In general, when the guests are invited, the host expects people to come. However, he/she doesn’t make “time” be a big deal over the party. Consequently, the host will pay the bill. However, in daily life, the older people will treat the younger by paying the bill. For Vietnamese, there is no definition of splitting up the bill as American.
In conclusion, social interaction is a significant thing in universal terms. Especially for Vietnamese, it always comes with the manner/ behavior which people will judge and comment about it. Everything that relates to social interaction plays an important role in cultural life. However, as Mark Twain once said: “etiquette requires us to admire the human races,” social interaction gives people an evaluation of one’s academic standard and a community’s civilization. There are surely a lot of differences between Vietnam, a traditional country with a high standard in the manner, and the United States, an open-minded country. Nevertheless, social interaction brings people together without conflicts and misunderstanding. After all, differences and similarities reveal the significance as well as the aspect in cultural life of each nation.
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