American Beauty, Hilary Swank, and Angelina Jolie: Recapping the 2000 Oscars

I mean, my thing with American Beauty is that ~at the time~ I thought it was the most brilliant movie ever made. I saw it with my dad and sister and then ran to school on Monday morning singing the gospel of this gorgeous, profound thing I’d just seen. I marshaled some other kids (not the boy) to go see it at a long-dead movie theater in Harvard Square some Saturday afternoon, and afterward nodded at them smugly as if to say, “Right? Right?” I think they got it, too. And for years, I listened religiously to Thomas Newman’s score on the CD boombox I’d gotten for my birthday. Does the movie, now in the harsh light of adulthood and whatnot, hold up? No sir, it doesn’t. But Conrad L. Hall’s cinematography is still gorgeous, Newman’s music still lilts and haunts, Diane Keaton’s performance as all the rose petals is one for the ages. So, no, American Beauty has not stood the pure test of time, but parts of it are still worthy. So we’ll have to leave it that, because this movie is about to win a bunch more big awards.

Anyhoo, Billy Crystal reacts to the clip by saying, “That is the strangest thing to happen to the suburbs since the Clintons decided to move to Westchester.” A bit bittersweet to hear that joke, as it’s the last time we’d ever hear about the Clintons. Where’d they go?

After that, Crystal does a bit where the monitor cuts to various celebs in the audience and he says what they’re thinking. There’s a really unfortunate Hurricane joke involving Denzel Washington, but Crystal’s gag about Annette Bening’s pregnancy and David Crosby (who had, just a month or so. prior, been announced as Melissa Etheridge’s sperm donor), played quite well to an audience of one.

“Your semen jokes are delightful! Oscar please?”